chaos within

Sometimes I say, "I can't hold on..."
Sometimes I say, "I can't let go....."
There would be no other chance they say
and I wonder  did i make the choice right......???



Ohh!! it kills me and sometimes swallows my heart
into a limitless darkness that engulfs all delight.....
and then from a chink in my tattered world
enters an unexpected ray of light........



Well its hard to be the special one
and still being ordinary is not easy....
yes i have tried!!!



Sometimes it seems its all for me to decide
(No!.....no!....no....!!)
I am so lost and (sob!) no one to guide




One path one destination...
Still my heart sinks when the
 crossroads arrive........


Ahhhhh!! sometimes I wish I could
get rid of every thought...
and sometimes the world seems too
crowded a place ...
like my head full of thoughts.
Just too many people, too many thoughts
that everything turns into noise..


Still I dream of symphony,of harmony
amidst this chaos that
exists all around me and inside!!!!

HEIGHTS AND LONELINESS

      It was back in school.My best friend and I used to sit at a special place in the school campus.We used to call it 'THE GRAVEYARD' .Those were a couple of stairs leaning against the boundary wall and grass grew around it.The huge trees around(the thing I loved most about the campus) gave it a more mysterious look.

     We sat on those stairs in spare time and shared all our dreams,confusions,conflicts,love interests and the daily happenings.So our moods ranged from cheerful to mischievous...to serious...and sometimes we contemplated like a pair of philosophers.

     On one such leisure day under the clear blue sky we sat and shared our musings,not discussing anything in particular.We casually looked at the sky and my friend spotted an eagle, soaring so high that if I removed my glasses I would have no idea that it was even there.Well an eagle in its flight is quite a sight to see.My friend interrupted and asked whats the word that comes in your mind instantly at this sight.Without blinking my eyes I said "HEIGHTS". 

I turned and asked whats your word..........my friend said "LONELINESS"....

   

    Years later as the course of my life changed.I continued studying and got to study at one of the best professional colleges in the country and aquired a lot of academic achievements.I sometimes  muse at  the depth of that casual discussion.Everything has a price .But is it necessary that heights mean loneliness? Are they inseparable or just a state of mind...........?