Derailed

 

The shiny tracks were all

Set for me to jump

On with steely wheels

And cruise towards my

Predestined …

 

The path was conveniently

Laid to greatness

No effort expected

Just  measured steps

There was absolutely

No chance of a miss

I was on the predictable

Road to bliss…

 

I was almost yawning

Towards certainity

And out of arrogance

Or perhaps ignorance

I decided to jump off

This bored easy existence

 

And lo and behold

I derailed

People think I

Failed…

 

I now sit aside watch

 Other’s steely wheels

On predictable paths

Race towards the predestined

 

While I lie derailed

Listening to a bird

Watching a bee

Letting a creeper

Grow over me …

I sneeze staring

At the sun..

I freeze under

The sudden snow…

 

I feel it thaw

I taste the glow

I have certainly

Failed

And I am deeply

Derailed…

 

But do I miss the

Predictble …

 

Oh I have sailed

To another world

Where everyday

Comes with a surprise

The meanings of words

And silence bind with

an honest thread

And this simple life

 

I shall continue to tread

 

 

Far beyond the understanding

Of this uncomplicated world ..

They think I have failed

But I am just happily derailed..

 

 

 

Wee

As I brewed a 

cup of coffee

In a trance  

and

boiled milk for

two cups of tea.

I contemplated on 

celestial properties

Of a  ginger

(Influenced by Neruda’s piece on lemon)

And ironically crushed none

 in the tea..

I dipped the biscuits

Ate them all mushy..

rescuing them in time

from a plunge in the coffee..

Alone I mused 

over this 

Life of  little

rituals..

trapped unapologetically

in an unparalleled wee..

                

LOTUS LESSON

The lotus looked
At the muddy pond
“oh! this is where
I have to grow!
This hurts me though
Yet I know
It is my goodness
That should show.”


And it spread its
Petals like sunshine
Cos the lotus had
No time to whine


What is within you
Let it define and determine
And never let the mud
Take away the purpose Divine!

OF BEAUTY, DREAMS AND DESTINY

Shortlived like the
Joyful thoughts
in my head.

A bubble floats
so candidly unaware
like a breath of life
trapped in a fragile sphere...
destined to vanish
without a trace...

Still the amazing spectrum
romances carelessly on its face
like a stray rainbow dancing
with euphoric grace

Beautiful without resistence
all through its short existence.....

 Like a distant
Dream in my eyes...

The sky stares back
From the worthless puddle
Where the sky drops
Came together to cuddle
When the last cloud passed
And the puddle relaxed
It mirrored the extreme
Living a distant dream.....

 Like my lone travels
Hunting for a future bright ....

A seed so feather light
With all hair white
Carried on it’s flight
Moving away
from the earth
the place of it’s birth
Yet it must go through
The turmoil
Before it reaches
And chooses
It’s destined soil ....

Beneath the bodhi tree!

Silly confusions,wrap my mind

in a shiny foil

creating a tinnitus,a crazy blur...

Hold on!!

Let me focus,Let me do the

tandem walk

Oh! am i still

past pointing....

prematurely dementing

or is it moving a step

ahead towards

enlightenment!!!



(P.S. This poem was written in my graduate days when my head was loaded with medical jargon and the sheer volume of study was driving me nuts .This perhaps made me confuse between  eccentricity and enlightenment :P :P)

HIDDEN WORDS......

Let me say a simple truth,
let me say it now 
else I never would..



I am standing in a crowd 
and I can so clearly hear
each whisper ,each sound
trying to sort right there
which one is for me
which one is mine.


As I keep doing this
So many times I miss
At  times I understand
yet many times misunderstand
What is being said
and what is to be said.


Sometimes I wish I could take back
what I said..
Truth is once in awhile everyone
wants that..
But no there is no taking back
something more would have
to be said to amend and correct
or sometimes better keep hush and act.



Sometimes as I hear and sort out
think and rethink ..


I begin to realize that  no one 
actually knows who I am..
and woah !sometimes even I don't!!
But then this is such a disturbing thought
who would accept this ?even I wont!!



Meanwhile as all the whispering,talking,
shouting and yelling goes on
 Surprisinlgy we still hide and conceal
we are all afraid to say
 the truth, the real deal..


To expose our true selves
To reveal the tenderest of feelings
admit tinniest of mistakes...



So there  somewhere quietly
stands all that is untold
and I begin to decipher why they say
"Speech is silver ,SILENCE is gold"

dreams remain.....

i look into my eyes....
some shy thoughts waiting
for an outburst
but will
remain burried
melting and freezing inside

i see...
my hands shake
my heartache ....
as with
great precision
i repair
the damage
as life emerges
announcing
its magnanimity with
horrid ...nightmarish ......pain

growing crazier than ever
denying the feeling..
the senses
i hold a hand placid outside
panicking inside
trying to console.....
pretending to be the anchor
miserably drifting away
in the middle of nowhere

i look at people
their eyes....
some expect the world
some my worth deny
but unperturbed by any other gaze
i look into my eyes
growing mysterious every moment
(are they keen?.... mocking?...observing?
casual?....dissapointed.?..enthusiastic?.
deep?....shallow?funny....or grave? )
i try again after giving up
every time.....

but.......sometimes
i do see
the glimpse of that
dream........ that has been
there and would never
leave my eyes!!

chaos within

Sometimes I say, "I can't hold on..."
Sometimes I say, "I can't let go....."
There would be no other chance they say
and I wonder  did i make the choice right......???



Ohh!! it kills me and sometimes swallows my heart
into a limitless darkness that engulfs all delight.....
and then from a chink in my tattered world
enters an unexpected ray of light........



Well its hard to be the special one
and still being ordinary is not easy....
yes i have tried!!!



Sometimes it seems its all for me to decide
(No!.....no!....no....!!)
I am so lost and (sob!) no one to guide




One path one destination...
Still my heart sinks when the
 crossroads arrive........


Ahhhhh!! sometimes I wish I could
get rid of every thought...
and sometimes the world seems too
crowded a place ...
like my head full of thoughts.
Just too many people, too many thoughts
that everything turns into noise..


Still I dream of symphony,of harmony
amidst this chaos that
exists all around me and inside!!!!