'Girtey hai sheh sawar hi maidan-e-jung mein..'

Between success and failure there is an important concept of standing up and facing things. Despite knowing that it has all fallen apart and despite the remotest understanding of how it went so bad .... between success and failure there is a mid zone of facing things . 
It’s neither success nor failure but the sheer strange human capacity of standing up with wobbly knees even though it might be apparently or genuinely certain that the outcome is bad. I have been a bookworm ... a workaholic ... and most times I functioned on the all and none principle. I have seen success and I have seen a trail of failures (how I define it). The new thing I learnt that sometimes it’s neither success nor failure that matters it’s just the gut to face it .... to stand by yourself... by your decisions . Trust me it takes more strength than succeeding and failing which actually and eventually would be the outcome. 
Today when I type this I separate this ability to go and stand in the battle field from winning and losing . I honour this strength ... this ability to be there .... to keep a promise... to face the consequences without worrying about the outcome. This is something I learnt today. It is difficult to keep standing when your beaten and bruised and your mind keeps telling you ... you took the wrong path and your heart knows that it was a bad turn you took.... but despite those strong forces of logic and intuition breaking you and shattering you .... if you still walk up to that place and face it... no matter what it is .... I guess it is a divine endeavour.... I don’t deny that the people around you , your friends and family may become your pillars of strength and help you deal with such hard situations... give you moral and verbal support . Truth is it is something within you that would probably sail you through... and not pick the easy option of running away.... it is something within you that helps you choose fight instead of flight... 


This is a note to myself and all those who stood there and fought .... who went there and faced it... with worn out tools... with understanding of ones limitations.... despite a gazillion negative thoughts and fear of falling ... of failure.... This is far above winning or losing .... far greater achievement than success ..... far more dignified than failing without trying.... 


I won’t say that I don’t fear failure ..... a lot of my academic success has been driven by fear of failure.... and I now understand how much damage that did to me and my capacity to learn. I have an inherent zeal to learn to go on.... Today I learned the precious lesson of facing things.....and giving up the easier path ... even though the outcomes in both the cases was same ... 


I do not know if tomorrow my fears overcome me and I don’t let my wobbly knees to take a chance... but today I know I was able to go beyond success and failure .... though it wasn’t the easiest thing to do.... 
I take this opportunity to salute all those who face their circumstances even though they might be the biggest failures in terms of the measuring scales this competitive world devices.... today my heart is filled with immense respect for those who stand up and face things without bothering about the outcome....specially those who do it with a smile !